Tuesday and Wednesday

Dear TAG,

I know you realize that I missed a day. I really had an excellent reason for missing, I promise. It wasn't that I forgot about you, or that I am slowly not caring, not at all. In fact the events of Tuesday impressed in my mind even more how much I care for you and how much I want to be with you.

Tuesday afternoon, as I was driving back from class, I rolled my truck. I think it rolled about three times. Yes, the lovely Gretchen is dead. I feel so stupid. I probably should have died in this wreck, and yes, the thought did cross my mind that maybe you would be better off if I were dead. But then I unsnapped the seatbelt, crashed onto the roof of the truck (It had landed on its roof) then crawled out the back window. Luckily, the truck was resting on its hood and the rear support pillars, or I would have been squished flat. I survived, and didn't even have to go to the hospital. I have lacerations on my hands and on top of my head, my neck and shoulder are a little strained, but otherwise I am unharmed. Luckily no other cars were around, so I didn't hurt anyone else.

So I spent all day Tuesday after the wreck feeling sorry for myself and getting the ball rolling on what needed to happen with the insurance and other things. I also rested, and took some feel good pills (Alleve) to help me sleep. I guess they worked, because I conked out and slept almost 8 hours, which is amazing. I so wish I could have heard your voice, or gotten a hug from you. I so wish that I had not made you run into the arms of that other man. I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you, but that he doesn't hold on to you, rather that you come back to me soon.

Wednesday I did not go to class, because I felt like I had been hit by a truck. (It's supposed to be funny, haha.) My neck and shoulder and whole upper body were pretty stiff, and my head still felt a little tender. I did get to go pick up my rental car. Thank goodness I had full coverage insurance on that truck. I'm glad I didn't take it off last month like I was thinking of doing. So, anyway, in a couple of weeks I guess we'll need to go truck shopping, eh? Would you like to go with me? I sure would appreciate it! I doubt it will happen though. But if you do go with me, I promise I'll let you drive it away. How cool would that be?

So I got my rental car, it's a little Chevy Cobalt, and sitting in it makes me feel like I'm sitting in a clown car. It is so not my style. I guess I was just meant to be a big guy in a big truck. I gotta start looking for one, hopefully I can get my own car fixed and take the rental back. That would be nice. Then I won't feel like I'm in a tiny little clown car.

I miss you so much, my TAG. There isn't an hour or a minute that goes by that you're not on my mind. I even dream about you. Sometimes they are not so great, but usually they are wonderful. We are happy together. I know that I can make you happy. I know that we can make each other happy. I know that we will make a beautiful family. We can be the picturesque family on the block, us and our six kids. Like the Brady Bunch, only lots cooler. I love you so, and will always be here for you. Never doubt, and never fear. I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust and respect and love back, so that we can build the happy family that we both want.

I love you always,

B