How much?

My dearest TAG, my love,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the breadth, depth, and height my soul can attain. I love you more than you may ever know, but I hope that you feel my love. I hope you feel it all around you every day, and know that I am loving you and only you, and that I am being good for you. I want you to be in my life so bad.

I recalculated the mortgage on that one house we talked about. It is actually going to be much cheaper than I had anticipated or calculated before. About 200 dollars cheaper. How amazing would that be? I hope that I can make it happen for us. That would be amazing.

I miss you more than I can even say, more than you may ever know. You are the most amazing woman in the world to me. I hope you know and feel that every day.

I was so wore out today, but still I waited for your call. I hoped you would call, tell me to come rescue you, so that I could drop everything and run to be with you. I would do that in a heartbeat, I hope you know that.

I love everything about you. I love the fact that you can just throw on a pair of pj pants, pull your hair back, put on a sweatshirt, and look amazing. I love the fact that you can get dressed up in that awesome ball gown I bought for you and look stunning. I love the fact that I can look at you and fall in love all over again. You are amazing.

I love you, always and forever,
B

A hurting heart

My dearest TAG, my love,

My heart hurts something fierce tonight. I don't really know why. All I know is that I can't bear the thought of being apart from you. I need you, I want you, and I love you. I don't know why it took what it did for me to realize that I love you, and don't know why it took what it did for me to realize that you love me. All I know is that I'm glad that it finally happened, even as I am sad that circumstances are what they are now.

I know you are going to the fireman's ball this weekend. I am so jealous. I wish I could be the man that gets to have you on his arm, that gets to dance the night away with you. I'm so sorry for all that I have done. Please forgive me.

I will do whatever it takes to show you that I can be the man you deserve, that I can love you the way you deserve to be loved, and that can be there for you through thick and thin. I want you to know I am always here for you, and there is nothing that will keep me away from you. I will change the rules of time and space if I have to, so that I can run as fast as I can to get to you.

I am so so sorry for all that I have done. Words cannot even come close to expressing the remorse that is in my heart, the pain that I feel when I think that I have treated the one I love more than life itself as poorly as I have treated you. I only hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

I'm working on a song right now. It's called "One More One Last Chance". I hope one day you get to hear it.

I love you, always and forever,
B

A real man

My dearest TAG, my love,

I am now realizing just what a real man is. A real man loves with all his heart, might, mind, and strength. A real man loves unconditionally, and isn't afraid to show that to anyone, especially to the one he loves the most. A real man is kind, generous, loving, giving, and benevolent to those around him. A real man holds his lady love in his arms, regardless of the circumstances around him. A real man does not cheat or step out on his love at any time, for any reason.

A real man gives of himself for the benefit of those around him, and gives the most of himself to the one he loves the most. A real man sacrifices all that he can for the sake of his love, and always recognizes that the love he has for that one, that one super special lady, that love is what carries him, sustains him, keeps him going.

I am a real man. I have done things that I am not proud of. I have hurt you, I have crushed you, and I have done appalling things that I am so ashamed of. But I know that I love you, that our love is strong enough to change me, and that as long as I hold on tight to that love, nothing can keep me from attaining those levels that you and I both know I am capable of. I am excited for the future.

I am a real man, and you are a real woman. Together we are dynamite. Together we can do anything. Together the world is ours.

I love you forever. I will always be here for you. I will never leave or forsake you. You can count on me forever, baby. I will no longer let you down, hurt you, or cause you pain or anguish of soul. I will be the man that you need, want, and expect. I am your love, you are mine, and we will be together soon.

Thank you for your love. Thank you for helping me realize the real man that I am and will be. I know that our family is going to be an amazing accomplishment and that we will beat all the odds because of the love that we share. I love you so much.

I love you always and forever, my love, my life, my future wife.
B

Every day

My dearest TAG, my love,

I know you are hurting still, and confused, and unsure of what is going on with us, with you, with life. I know that I have thrown you for a loop. I know you were taking steps to cut me out completely and that would have been easier for all involved, most likely. Now I've come back, screwed everything up majorly, and you don't know what to do. I know you feel torn. I'm sorry for that. I would give up, let you just live life, but I know I can't do that. I'm so certain that you are supposed to be my future, and that you are supposed to be my wife, that I just can't give up. Sorry. I will fight to the very last breath to make you mine.

I love you so very much. I want you to know that. Through everything I do, after all that I am, our love is the thing that keeps me going, that makes sense, that teaches me what life is all about. I know that our love will survive the test of time, and that we can overcome anything and everything that life may throw at us. We will be amazing together.

You're the most amazing woman in the world. I am so in love with you. I love everything about you, your body, your mind, your spirit, your brain, your personality, the way you look at me, the way you hold me in your arms, the kindness you show our children, the amazing things you do every day for others. I love your spunk and your fire, I love the quiet things you do behind the scenes to make life easier for those around you.

I will always be here for you. I will never leave your side, there will never be another for me. I will love you with all my heart for all my life.

I love you forever and ever and always,
B

Holy Ouch!

My dearest TAG, my love,

I think I missed a day. It happens, I guess. Sometimes it hurts just as bad to write as it does to not write. I know, I'm lame. But this is who I am now. I acknowledge all my feelings, regardless of how lame they may sound or if they make me seem like less of a man.

So I went through my camera today for the first time in forever. Wow. Holy Ouch. There were pictures on there from Halloween and Christmas. You looked so beautiful on Christmas Eve as you were opening your presents. Why oh why did I ever let you go, or not let you know just how much you mean to me? Why was I so blind as to not see that you love me just like I love you. Why did I not acknowledge that?

I love you oh so much, my TAG. I didn't know true love existed until there was you. I didn't realize I deserved to be loved and appreciated until there was you. I didn't know what it meant to truly love somebody else until there was you. You saved my soul, you rescued me from pain and torment. I do so love you, and I hope you feel and see that. Please come home to me. I know we can make it work. I know that we can together make a difference. We are family. You have shown me what it means to be a family. I know we are great for each other.

I'm going to be here this whole week, and I'm afraid it might be torturous for me. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I love you so much, I wish I could see you all day every day. You are an amazing woman, and I will love you always, from the bottom of my heart and with all that I am, I love you. I know I don't have much money, but every little bit is yours to have. I know I don't have a nice house or nice cars or the ability to buy nice things for you or the means or the ways to take care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of. But I can promise that I will work as hard as I can to give you the world, and that I can give you something that money could never buy. True, unadulterated, pure love. I love you so very much. You're amazing.

I will love you forever, my love, my life, my all. you're the best thing that has ever been in my life, and you'll be the best thing I will ever have. Thank you for sharing the part of life with me that you did. I will treasure it always. And if you find it in your heart to come back, please do. The door will be open to you at every time. Any time. I am yours, yours forever.

I love you always and forever,
B

I will take it all

My dearest TAG, my love,

I know that you are hurting, confused, and stressed. I'm so sorry for all of that. I will take it all on me, I can handle it. I can take all the stress, the worry, the heartache, the confusion, and I will gladly bear it for you. If only I could help you, help you more than I do now. If only I could take you away from all of this. I so wish that I were a Rocketeer, so that I cold fly us away to that world, above all this. I am so sorry that I'm not in a better place to help than I am. I feel almost useless, worthless, and like there's nothing I can do. I hate that feeling. I hate it so much. I wish that I could be more of the man you deserve.

I want to let you know that you mean the world to me. I would do almost anything for you. I think about the future often, how happy we could be. I so hope that happens. I know you will never regret it if you choose me. I know you would feel like the happiest woman in the world, like the most blessed woman in the world, and I would definitely be the luckiest guy in the world. I already feel like one of the luckiest, because I got to share that life with you for a short while. I hope that I get to share even more. I love you so very much.

Let me take the pain away, ease the stress. Come back to me. Together we can face anything. Anything at all. Together we can take on the world. I will do anything it takes. And I will help you be happier than you have ever been in your life.

I love you always and forever,
Love,
B

Deafening Silence

My dearest TAG, my love,

I just experienced another pretty sleepless night. Those happen alot. Mainly because I start thinking about you, and I just can't quit. I have dreams, and you're in them. You're the first thing on my mind when I wake up, you're the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep, and you're on my mind every second of every minute of every hour in between. I think about you when I'm supposed to be concentrating on class. It's a good thing that I can multi-task!

I miss you so much. It's so much more than just a regular missing someone. I miss the way you look into my eyes, I miss the hugs, the quiet moments when we were just there for each other, and I miss holding you, knowing at that moment I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Even though I didn't give you 100% of me 100% of the time, you got more of me than anyone else ever has.

I love you so much. I feel as if a part of me is missing. I want us to have a future. I want to be able to kiss you good night when we go to sleep, then kiss you good morning when we wake up. I want to be able to call you, just because, and you call me, just because. I want to be able to know that I can come home to you or you can come home to me. I'm so sorry I was foolish and cavalier with our love.

I promise you this, my TAG. I will love you like you've never been loved before. You will never regret one more day of your life. I will take away the hurt and the confusion and replace it with love, devotion, clarity, and peace. I will heal your heart, and you can heal mine.

Together, we are an amazing duo, an amazing couple. You are my lady, I love only you. Any other woman pales in comparison to you. You are so beautiful, and so amazing, and you have so many good qualities. I want you to know just how special you are, and I will spend the rest of my life figuring out how to do that, and helping you feel that way.

I love you forever, my TAG. I always will be here for you. Until I take my last breath and shuffle off this mortal coil, I will love you and only you.

I love you always and forever,
B