Sunset on Sunday

My dearest TAG, my love,

Today, I made my weekly trip east. While driving, the sun went down, and it produced one of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen in a long time. It made me wonder if you were watching it too, enjoying the sunset as I was. It was nice for me to think that perhaps we were enjoying that moment together, even though we weren't aware of it. I think that's how a lot of life is, we enjoy moments together even though we don't realize that we are, until it is either too late or we come to realize exactly what certain things mean to us.

I have come to the conclusion that time is a horrible mistress. She can treat us well at times, grant us certain moments, but at other times she is mean and ugly. She takes things from us, or causes us to neglect certain things. I so wish that I could control time to a degree. Then things would be different.

I do miss you, more than words can possibly render. But, I also realize that you must go your way. If it is meant to be, it will be. If not, then perhaps life has other things before me. That doesn't mean that I stop loving or caring for or missing you. Not at all. But it does mean that it's okay for me to laugh, to live, and to go on. I will always be here for you, that much is certain, but I don't have to put life on hold either. I can and should live. I know that in time you will realize what we mean to each other, and then we can possibly be together.

I suffer terribly from a horrible self-image. I always see my faults first and rarely see the good. I can not understand what anyone would find about me that would be attractive or desirable. Yet you saw all these things in me, and tried to show me. I, unfortunately failed to listen, until it was too late, you were gone, and one of the best things in my life had been taken. I'm so sorry, my TAG.

My heart is heavy. My soul weeps for your loss. I know that you love me, and I know you know that I love you too. This love will overcome any boundaries that space, time, or other people may place in front of us. I know that our love is strong enough to save us. I just have to give it time, but I'm impatient. You know me best, my TAG, and you know I want it now!

I love you forever. I always will. I will always be there for you, no matter what. I will never abandon you.

I love you
B